#MomShamingMustFALL | “Let’s say NO to Mom Wars”
Whether it’s a battle between natural birth vs elective cesarean, formula feeding vs breast feeding, stay at home mom vs working mom, nanny vs creche, sleep training vs co-sleeping – there always seems to be a battling of opinions waging above my head.
In my very limited experience of Motherhood, my daughter is 15 months old, I’ve experienced many a criticism on the ways I’ve chosen to raise my daughter. I’m also currently 33 weeks pregnant and just looking at my different birthing options had been a challenge. There are so many judgments over a woman in this period of her life. And the pressure of those judgments weigh down heavily on a new mom.
There are beliefs that the pros of natural birth far outweigh the decision to have an elective cesarean. And any woman who chooses to have a c-section is selfish or lazy or just plain stupid. I’ve also had someone slam my idea of formula feeding stating that babies who are breastfed have a higher IQ than babies who are formula-fed. I strongly disagree and have strong opinions about both of those statements. My point in case, those are my opinions, in which I’m happy to keep to myself as I choose to raise my daughters. None of which I expect you to like. But I do expect the respect of others Moms. My ultimate standpoint is that a Mother has the right to make her own decisions on what is best for her baby. Regardless of differential opinions of others. The biggest challenge is to mute the voices of the world which tell me that my decisions are wrong. The voices that mock me and look down on me because my choices are different. Yes, they’re different but that does not make them wrong!
So, let’s put Mom Shaming to an end. Let’s partner together as Moms and support each other in one of life’s most challenging seasons: Motherhood.
We live in a society that is on the fringe of celebrating female empowerment. The cosmetics company, Dove, has run a 10 year campaign on challenging the existing perceptions of women and encouraging them to embrace their own natural, Real Beauty, motivating women to believe in themselves, promoting that every women is beautiful at any age, size or race. I say, the individuality of a Mother should be celebrated. And the independence of her choices should be too.
I had a moment a few days ago, I was walking through the isles of Clicks and I watched a Mom publicly discipline her maybe 12 year old daughter. The look on that little girls face made my heart drop and I immediately thought, ‘I would never do that to my daughter’ – I was caught red handed in my own thought process of the very thing I’m talking about. I quickly took my thoughts captive and chucked them in the trash. I then chose to take that moment and side with the Mom I had so quickly criticized, I have no idea what it’s like to raise a teenage daughter. So I shut my thoughts up and I felt myself come to the realization that I too am guilty. I am guilty of Mom Shaming. I chose then and there to stop and put an end to it! She too, like me, is a Mom – trying her very best at life!
Resilience and strength are an everyday garment for Moms, they wear fortitude like underwear, fully embracing the challenges of Motherhood and embarking on the new season of selflessness with eagerness and love.
So Moms, Let’s choose to clothe ourselves in love, be patient and kind with one another, not boasting in our own achievements, let’s not dishonor other moms or be proud and selfish in our ways and opinions, let’s not force our opinion on others but let’s practice love and pep each other up. Let’s encourage, motivate, embolden and inspire other moms – cheering them on at the side lines of the playing field of this mom life to be the best moms that they can. Motherhood is tough enough without the disapproval of other moms. Let’s be Moms fighting FOR other Moms and not against them. Let’s rally together and say NO to Mom Wars. Let’s buckle up our opinions and support one another despite our contrasting views. Let’s throw confetti, party streamers and rose petals around as fellow Moms walk down the isle of Motherhood. Let’s strengthen their arms, lighten the weight and pressure, carry them over the threshold with our words of exhortation and encouragement.
What a beautiful thing it is to be a Mom! What a celebrated title it ought to be, like a badge of honour on my blazer of life!
I wear my badge proudly!