Pregnancy, Adoption, Surrogacy – motherhood is evolving and expanding and looks different on every woman. There is no longer just one option to becoming a Mom. There are many different avenues to Motherhood – equally beautiful in its own experience.
In light of Mothers day approaching, I find myself thinking back to the moment I became a Mom. My first Motherhood experience was through adoption. I struggle to think when that moment was that I became a Mom. The adoption process looks very different to pregnancy. The road is long and full of red tape, admin, meetings, governmental processes, psychosocial assessments, etc. It’s tough although necessary! But it somehow robs you of the joy of becoming a parent. The realisation that you are going to be a Mom isn’t all that obvious or celebratory at all.
So when was my moment – was it when we applied to adopt a baby or was it when we held our beautiful girl for the first time? For me, it was the moment our social worker called…. I didn’t expect her phone call that day. In my desperation and attempt to steady my anxious heart, I had narrowed down the days and hours to when I could expect my phone call from the adoption agency. So I narrowed it down to Tuesdays, Wednesday and Thursdays from 09:00 – 16:00. Mondays and Fridays were court days for the social worker and working hours were from 08:00 – 17:00, assuming that the first hour would be spent making coffee, replying to emails, morning meetings, etc and the last hour would be for finishing off the day’s work. It was Wednesday afternoon at 17:30, maybe a little later when my phone call came through. I had already written off the day thinking that 16:00 had come and gone. When I heard my phone ring, I thought it was my husband calling to say that he was going to be late, so I casually walked to my phone letting off a sigh with a slight hint of attitude and irritation. I picked up my phone and read the caller ID, it was the adoption agency. In a rush of emotions, tears and laughter I answered the call, the social worker said, “Robynne I have some news for you, we found a match and it’s a baby girl!!”
That sentence changed my life. And now, a little over a year later, we get to celebrate life with our sweet Sophie every day.
Pregnancy and childbirth are no longer the only road to Motherhood. Being an ‘adoptive’ parent doesn’t make me any less of a mother. I am Sophie’s Mom, I am Paige’s Mom. I am no more Paige’s Mom than I am Sophies Mom, just because I gave birth to Paige. Would I adopt again? ABSOLUTELY! It’s a wonderful thing, adoption – not because I gave a home to a child who didn’t have one – NO – but because I was blessed with a child when I couldn’t have one. Adoption teaches you what the depths of your heart looks like and the depth of love your heart can carry.
“A Rose by any other Name would Smell as Sweet” – Pregnancy, Adoption, Surrogacy – whatever path you took to having children, it’s beautiful! Motherhood is a beautiful thing, no matter what your walk looks like.