Trapped like a firefly in a mason jar. Stifled, I peered out, watching others’ dreams, hopes and joys twinkle and fly by my stagnant ones. My own desires sat dusty in my valley of pain.
Extinguished. Exhausted. Expectant no longer.
“I’m so sorry your dreams are dashed,” my friend offered. “I wish I had known sooner how painful this disappointment has been. It would been an honor to walk it out with you.”
“Thanks. But a broken heart is silly. Especially in light of others’ pain.” Who was I to be sad about a mere breakup?
Silenced by self-doubt. Belittled by unworthiness. I diminished my pain, fearing it insignificant. In the process I belittled God’s care about my pain. Healing had been offered, yet I walked away, thinking it not worth his trouble.
My friend took my hand, and we journeyed back to when she had lost two children. Someone then had told her to check her pain at the door. Keep it in perspective to others’ pain.
We journeyed back to another time when pain was acknowledged, not tucked in a dark corner. Then she turned to the Lord, who administered healing from the grief of empty arms and empty cribs.
My friend took my hand again and we journeyed forward.
“Don’t belittle your grief. Your pain is genuine. This valley is real. You must acknowledge the Lord is near and accept His help to get out.”
My friend granted me permission to feel my ache and loss. Drastically different than her own, yet no less honest. In that moment I realized I’d held my pain at a distance. Yet truth resonated in her words. No one loves us or offers healing like God does.
Perhaps it is time to acknowledge the pain, like Job did in Job 7:11. To become aware of the Lord’s care—an “always there” presence. No matter what other voices have said, your pain is valid. God cares deeply and longs to heal you. No pain is too great … or too small. Often we just need someone to remind us that God longs to remove the lid on our mason jar and fly next to us, out of the valley.
~ Written By Samantha Reed. Taken from YouVersion Bible reading plan.
““I cannot keep from speaking. I must express my anguish. My bitter soul must complain. Am I a sea monster or a dragon that you must place me under guard? I think, ‘My bed will comfort me, and sleep will ease my misery,’ but then you shatter me with dreams and terrify me with visions. I would rather be strangled— rather die than suffer like this. I hate my life and don’t want to go on living. Oh, leave me alone for my few remaining days. “What are people, that you should make so much of us, that you should think of us so often? For you examine us every morning and test us every moment. Why won’t you leave me alone, at least long enough for me to swallow! If I have sinned, what have I done to you, O watcher of all humanity? Why make me your target? Am I a burden to you?”
Job 7:11-20 NLT
No matter what your pain, He cares for you! Whether sickness or disease, heartbreak or disappointment. Jesus cares. He is near to you. He is one prayer away!
In 2015 I got diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. I was 26 years old.
I battled it out for that year. I was in constant pain, living on medications. Every time I went to see my specialist, she prescribed more medicines in higher doses. But no matter what, I knew He was near!
In 2016, we had the miracle of adopting our first daughter. She is such a blessing. Had it not been for this disease, we probably never would have even considered adopting. I knew that He was near.
Later that year, we miraculously fell pregnant with our second daughter. The disease had somehow gone into remission and I was able to go off the meds and we fell pregnant immediately. And I knew without a doubt that He was near.
We now have two ridiculously gorgeous daughters. And I stil have Rheumatoid. I’m still in pain. I’m still on my meds. But I still know that He is near!
He is mindful of us. He cares about our pain, emotional and physical. He cares about the state of our hearts. He cares about our disappointments, our anguish. He never leaves us. There is Hope in Jesus! There is Healing in Jesus. He is the lifeline that I cling to. He never lets me down.
“Trapped like a firefly in a mason jar? God longs to remove the lid on our mason jar and fly next to us, out of the valley.”