Adoption Part 4: What about the Birth Mother?

You are Chosen and Loved – Ephesians 1:4

Interesting question: What about the Birth Mother?

Many people have mixed feelings on mothers who give their babies up for adoption and unfortunately, some of those feelings lean towards judgment and disapproval. Well, I’m here to set the record straight. Mothers who give their babies up for adoption are, in my opinion, flipping Superheroes!

So often, we judge. We are judges of the worst kind. I feel that this is one area where people have cast their judgment unfairly, on the insecure birth mother. Adoption is possible because of these brave souls. Adoption is birthed out of a place of love, not abandonment. 

I chose to meet Sophie’s birth mother. It was a decision that I initially struggled with, simply because the whole adoption process is quite emotionally overwhelming and my emotions were all over the place and so it took me some time to settle on the idea. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to meet her but rather because I was flooded with nerves and uncertainties. Looking back now, I am thankful that I chose to meet her. If not for any other reason, simply for my Sophie. I look forward to the day I get to tell her that I have met her birth mother. The meeting was an incredibly overwhelming experience. Sophie’s birth mother placed Sophie in my arms and then looked at me and smiled. I will never forget that moment. My heart is overwhelmed by the bravery and courage it must have taken for her to do that. I know that every adoption has it’s own story, mine was thankfully a beautiful one. If Sophie’s birth mother had not made the brave and overwhelming decision to keep her unexpected baby, as opposed to the many other options available to women who fall pregnant unexpectedly, I would not be Sophie’s mom today. I would not be able to raise and love and adore my little girl. I would not be able to laugh with her and dance with her and tickle her until she squeals. I have the privilege of being Sophie’s Mom today because of her. I owe her my deepest respect and gratitude. 

I wrote a letter to Sophie’s birth Mother when we applied for the adoption. These are a few things that I said,

“A hero by definition is a person or character who, in the face of danger and adversity or from a position of weakness, displays courage, bravery or self-sacrifice—that is, heroism—for some greater good; a man or woman of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his or her brave deeds and noble qualities. You are a woman of distinguished courage.”

These words ring truer in my heart today than ever before!

I don’t normally share such personal information on my blog or on the social media platform, but I felt that today – World Adoption Day – would be the perfect day to share my thoughts on this and to highlight and celebrate Birth Mothers for who they are – heroes. This day is as much their day to celebrate as it is mine. I also realize that this is only half of my story to share. Sophie shares this story with us. She is the reason for this journey and one day she will too have her story to share, but for today I stand with her in celebrating the gift of Adoption. I am overwhelmed by the beauty that is adoption, the beauty of this gift that God so clearly predestined us for! I have the privilege of celebrating my Sophie’s 2nd birthday this month because of the blessing of Adoption.

“God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.” Ephesians 1:5



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